Am I Too Emotional?
Created by: Brittani Pascal Category: Other Created on: Wed, 11/30/2011 Time: 02:22 PM
Regardless of how cold hearted some people may seem to us at times, believe it or not, we all do experience emotions. If we all have feelings, then why does it sometimes seem like some people experience more or more intense emotions then others? Do they just not feel as much as everyone else? Do people tend to tell you that you are ‘too emotional’?
It’s helpful to take a step back and evaluate the ways that your strong emotions are impacting your life. Do you find yourself getting in countless arguments with your coworkers or family? Maybe your relationship with your significant other is becoming overwhelmed with your jealous behaviors, or your friend count is diminishing due to your depressed mood or anxiety.
It’s normal for everyone to feel various emotions in response to a situation or conversation, but what it really comes down to is what we do with those emotions. If we react very quickly to an intense feeling, it can be a recipe for disaster. There is no such thing as a wrong emotion; for every person experiencing it, it is right for them. No one should ever feel guilty for what they are feeling. However, the behaviors that follow, frequently on impulse, is where we have more control to limit their negative impact on our lives.
If it sounds difficult to control intense anger, worry, sadness, or frustration, you may be right as it can be challenging at times. However, with effort and practice it is very possible. The following steps will help you practice:
Identify your emotion(s). Knowing if you are feeling jealous, disappointed, embarrassed, hurt, or rejected rather than simply mad or sad is an important thing to determine. When you notice signs of having an intense emotion that seems to impact your relationships, take a moment, and name it. The more specific, the better. Keep in mind that you can be feeling several emotions at once.
Observe. As tempting as it may be to say or do something immediately, and possibly inconvenient timing to take a break, give yourself permission to simply sit with this feeling and observe it. You can even close your eyes (if you’re driving at the time, you should pull over the car first!) and visualize what the emotion(s) would look like, sound like, and feel like if you could touch it. Continuously describe to yourself what you feel, and if you’re imagining it in your mind then keep describing what you see. Observe the changes in intensity and quality of the emotion(s). Notice how your body is reacting to this emotion, is your heart rate up? Maybe you have sweaty palms? Perhaps you’re tearful or having trouble breathing. Just observe.
Relax. During this break you will be providing yourself time that leads to calmness and reduction in the intensity of your emotion. Once you feel like your emotion isn’t taking over your entire vision, body, and mental space, then breathe deeply and relax.
React. This is the time to decide if you would like to share your thoughts and feelings with someone, take a walk, journal, plan your next move or continue on with what you were previously doing. Your mind will be more clear and your emotion won’t blur your thought process as much, which could prevent you from doing or saying something that you regret or that was unnecessary.